A second grade fairy tale

Football Fairy Tale
By Joseph Maddux
Illistrations by Joseph Maddux*
(c) 2011 10/27-11/7

Once upon a time 1,000000000 (One thousand milion) years ago there was a person named Chad Johnson who wanted to play on the Baltimore Colts.  But the owner of the Colts Vince Foster did not let him.  So he waited another season to see if he would let him play on the Baltimore Colts.  Evrey night he dreamed if he was on the colts scoring touchdowns, kicking feild goals and even interceptions touchdowns and saftys [safeties] and winning the superbowl to get the Vince Lombardi trophy.  One day Chad saw a pebble and thought it was magic and wished for a Colt uniform and as soon as he snapped he saw it laying on the ground and called Vince and Chad said "I've got a uniform" Vince said "what number is your uniform" Chad said "number eighteen" "great there's no Colt number is number eighteen" said Vince "you can play on the colts!" said Vince again.  "Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" said Chad Vince said "first game verses Indianapolis Ravens but if we loose you are kicked out of the team" said Vince.  Soon it was time to play the Ravens kicked off Chad got the ball he ran and ran and ran until sombody tacled [tackled] him he was on the Ravens twenty-nine yard line.  The quarterback Alex Smith tried to pass to Oscar Tate but it was a incomplete pass to Oscar.  It was 2nd down and 10 to go Alex Smith got sacked for a loss of 10 yds.  The Colts were in troble Alex trough [threw] to Oscar it was incomplete.  It was 4th and 20 Alex pased down feild to Chad and he caugt the ball and ran it was end of 1st but play keeps going 20 15 10 5 GOAL TOUCHDOWN COLTS!  That was end of the 1st  The Colts kicked of [off] the ravens got it the Ravens fumbles Chad with the ball 5 4 3 2 1 G TOUCHDOWN CHAD!  The Colts kicked of [off] agian the stop by Sam Cushing that stoped on the 2 yd. line.  "Hut" said the quarterback.  Sacked for 3 yds.  Safty 2 points!  It was 16-0 Colts at the end of the half.  The Ravens safty bunted and Chad got the ball he ran and ran and ran and ran and ran to the 1 yd. line  Touchdown run by Oscar Tate.  End of the 3rd!  Colt kickoff he rant to the 11.  The quarterback trough [threw] to the running back ran 10 yds.  First down.  2 downs pastest [passed] away with runs and a incomplete pass and they kicked a feid [field] goal.  It was 23-3 teh Cots were wining with 1 sec. left.  They kneeled it.  It was game end Chad stayed on the Colts THE END

*Questionable on the illustrations, since there were no pictures.

Operation Summer Failure

This parenting thing sure is counter-intuitive.  School's out for summer around here, so we are working on some summer projects.  Of course, summer for my kids is not nearly the same as summer when I was a kid.  Will and Helen are still in school/daycare, so their days haven't changed except to add early morning swim lessons three times a week.  So, busier, actually.  Charlie and Joe are in a different camp every week--this week they have a full day of baseball camp and are coming home exhausted.  So depending on the week, also busier for them.  And they have been assigned schoolwork over the summer (when did schools start doing this?), so add that to the mix.  

But still, there are technically fewer real obligations, so we are taking the summer to work on a few things.  I plan to teach all the kids how to sort laundry, for instance.  I know.  Exciting stuff.  

The big project for the summer, however, is Charlie.  Charlie is an amazing kid.  He is motivated, driven, and successful at almost everything he does.  Schoolwork?  All As.  His yearly average in one subject was a 99.  I don't think he ever made less than a 100 on his spelling tests this year, and most of those 100s came on a pre-test, where they took the test cold without having studied the words at all.  And math - he's crazy proficient in math.  He seems to have memorized most of his multiplication facts already, without even trying.  Reading - he has whizzed through all seven Harry Potter books.  One day he told me that he read four different Magic Treehouse books during his free time in class.  And of course sports, his passion?  Amazing defensive baseball player, best basketball player on his team, and a real leader on the soccer field.  Also easily picks up other things, like skiing, golf, football, swimming, etc.  

Charlie's problem, though, is that he is too successful.  He does not handle failure well.  He is super-competitive, and wants to win.  At EVERYTHING.  He does not deal well with adversity.  (Interestingly, he is generally okay with losses in sports though.)  

Well, life is full of adversity, and a big part of a person's character is how to deal with that.  So, our summer project is for Charlie to fail.  Repeatedly.  Sometimes unfairly.  And then teach him how to handle it.  I never thought I would spend a significant amount setting my kid up for failure.  But there you have it.  Parenting is weird.

"Luck" in the learning log

As the end of school winds down, the boys have been bringing home some of their work from second grade.  Yesterday, Joe brought home his "learning log."  This is a notebook that they write in every morning during "warmup" time, either to do math problems, journal, or write sentences using their spelling words.

One week in January, the spelling words all focused on different words with the "k" sounds--some spelled with "c," some with "k," and some with "ck."  One of the works was "luck," and Joe used it in a sentence:

"The Colts will probably draft Andrew Luck."

 Add spelling to the things that you can learn from sports.

Moms, Muffins, Shopping, and T-ball

This morning was my last Cathedral House "Moms and Muffins."  Sniff.  

I've been every year for the last eight years, with the exception of 2007 when I was otherwise occupied with becoming a mom once again.  (That year Charlie and Joe brought the muffins to me in the hospital.)

We are about to move on to another chapter in our lives.  A few short months and we will have four elementary-school-aged children.  

Here are the pictures Will and Helen made for Moms and Muffins.  See if you can guess whose is whose.  It's not what you would think.  Or then again, maybe it is.

Me and Mommy like to go shopping.

Me and Mommy like to play t-ball.

 (Yes, Will is shopping and Helen is t-ball.)

Look who has a nightgown

Look who has a new nightgown to wear to bed, in addition to all those PJs like the boys.  

No way would she have worn this if I had bought it for her.  Luckily, the Easter bunny brought it, so she's all over it.

And speaking of big . . .

Will has been going to the eye doctor since he was about four months old.  He has always sat in my lap while he was examined.

A couple of weeks ago he had another appointment.  He just got up in the chair by himself and sat there like a little man.  When did my little guy get so big?

Running the Bases

If there isn't another game starting, Helen and Will run the bases after Charlie and Joe's baseball games end.

Helen is the epitome of an "I can do anything my big brothers can do" child. 

But doesn't she look so big here in her own right? 

The Last Six Hours

2:45 - I leave work
3:00 - I arrive at school to pick up Joe
3:15 - Joe and I arrive home (Will is already home with Gramma)
4:25 - I leave home
4:30 - I arrive at school to pick up Charlie
4:35 - Charlie and I arrive home
5:00 - Cort leaves work
5:15 - Cort arrives at school to pick up Helen
5:30 - I instruct the three kids at home to pick up and get ready to leave
5:35 - Cort and Helen arrive home
5:40 - I instruct all kids to get in cars
5:45 - Cort and Joe leave home
5:50 - Charlie, Will, Helen, Gramma, and I leave home
5:55 - Charlie, Will, Helen, Gramma and I arrive at school for healthy chef's night
6:00 - Cort and Joe arrive at the baseball fields for batting practice
6:10 - I leave school
6:20 - I arrive at baseball fields to pick up Joe
6:30 - Joe and I arrive back at school for chef's night
6:40 - Charlie and I leave school
6:50 - Charlie and I arrive at baseball fields, where I drop Charlie off for batting practice
7:00 - I arrive back at school
7:10 - Joe, Will, Helen, Gramma, and I leave school
7:15 - Joe, Will, Helen, Gramma, and I arrive at the drive-through of the new Chik-Fil-A (yes, I see the irony in the fact that we have to order fast food because we were too busy at healthy chef's night to actually have a healthy meal)
7:20 - Cort and Charlie leave the baseball fields
7:25 - Joe, Will, Helen, Gramma, and I leave Chik-Fil-A
7:30 - Joe, Will, Helen, Gramma, and I arrive home, followed immediately by Cort and Charlie
7:35 - Helen sets the table and everyone begins eating
8:00 - Cort and I begin herding kids upstairs to get ready for bed
8:15 - Charlie and Joe go to bed
8:20 - Will and Helen go to bed
8:45 - I make muffins for breakfast

Our little competitor

Helen is competitive. Very competitive. She's not quite as into sports as her big brothers, but she is VERY into winning. In fact, she thinks about pretty much everything in terms of winning.

Case in point:

The other day I told Will and Helen that we needed to go pick up Charlie and Joe at their friend Colin's house. Who's Colin? Helen wanted to know. (They've been friends with Colin for two years now. She should know him.) I reminded her that Colin was Charlie's friend from school. She said she didn't know him. I tried to jog her memory--remember, Colin was on their soccer team too. Nope, she insisted she didn't know him. I said, "Remember, he has a little sister named Kiera and she is going to be in kindergarten with you." We have discussed this pretty much every time we have seen Kiera for the last year. Will and Helen have played with Kiera multiple times during the boys' soccer games and practices. Still, Helen said she didn't know Kiera or Colin. Since Kiera also played soccer last fall, I tried that tact: "Remember, Kiera was on the red soccer team?"

To which Helen immediately responded: "Oh. Yeah. I know Kiera. We BEAT them. Twice. And they LOSED!!!!"

Things that make absolute sense to a child

After eating donuts for breakfast, I told Will to wash his hands and then get dressed. His response?

"But I licked my hands. So they're good."